


playing dead for us all

by lineofpepsi



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gang AU, M/M, Reunions, some drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 12:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21015635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lineofpepsi/pseuds/lineofpepsi
Summary: Evan and Ohm have to go away for a while. Tyler and Jonathan have to cope without them.





	playing dead for us all

**Author's Note:**

> I messed around with my writing style for this one, and I like how it turned out. 
> 
> I hope y'all like it too!

“I have to tell him.” 

“If you tell him, that risks this whole fucking thing going under. Four years of suffering and planning this shit to hell all down the drain. You can’t throw that away for one person.” 

“I love him, I  _ have _ to tell him!” 

“If you tell him, we all die. You know that; the entire plan rides on everyone thinking we’re dead.” 

“Ev, please, you understand that he has to know I’m not actually gone-” 

“You think I don’t wanna fly back home to tell Tyler that I’m alive? You think I don’t wanna drop everything to see him again, to hug him and tell him everything’s okay now? You think I don’t wanna live a normal life with him?” 

“Evan, please.” 

“Listen, Ohm, I get it. I understand better than anyone else, but we have to do this. If we want them to be safe, if we want them to stay alive, we have to be dead. It’s only temporary, until we bring down the bastards ruining our lives.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“I fucking said okay. I’m going to bed.” 

Jonathan didn’t bother to stop the tears from falling. It was futile at this point; more would follow, even in his sleep. It seemed at this point that Tyler’s walls had crumbled too, but he didn’t cry. Tyler screamed into his pillow at night and drank cheap liquor during the day. 

The two of them had started living together. They thought it would ease the pain. But nothing eased the pain. 

It’s been six fucking months, and nothing’s eased the pain.

At this point, Tyler’s ready to give up. Jonathan just wants it to stop. 

Both of them keeping waiting every goddamn day for something to change. They know something’s wrong; they saw the headlines on the news, two notorious crew members being killed in a warehouse explosion as part of gang warfare. 

Jonathan had thrown up when his worst suspicions were confirmed. Tyler had left the apartment and shown up an hour later, shitfaced and wailing.

But the two crew members couldn’t be dead. They just couldn’t. Shit had been going down around that time - opposing gangs closing in, upping the pressure on them all. But they had agreed to stick together, to tough it out and emerge victorious.

Then, one day, Evan and Ohm give them explicit instructions to just fucking quit being a member of a gang with sizeable bounty on their head and integrate into civilian life - only for them to disappear and show up dead a week later. 

Something was going on. But that was also six fucking months ago. 

Since then, the leftover crew has done what they were told, and integrated well back into society. Together, some of them opened a coffee shop. It was easy, and quite different from the lifestyle they were all dying to leave. Of course, they would never be completely free. Not with the skeletons in their closet and the demons under their bed. 

And the money they had to launder of course. That was a long and tedious process, but at least they never had to worry about whether they could pay for food ever again. 

“I heard they opened a coffee shop. Del’s drinks, they call it. Front for laundering, too.” 

“That’s great. They earned that money, I’m glad they’re doing something with it.” 

“Ev, come on. Let’s just pop in really quick, they won’t even have to know it’s us-” 

“No, Ohm. We’re so close now, we can’t fuck it up.” 

“I want to see him. I miss him so goddamn much it  _ hurts _ .” 

“I know. But if we do this right, we’ll be home before you know it.” 

“If they don’t fucking hate our guts.” 

“Yeah, Ohmie. If they don’t hate our guts.” 

“You better be right about this. If this is all for nothing, I’m leaving and I’m never coming back.” 

“You’re serious?” 

“Yeah. I am.” 

The anniversary was coming up soon. In nine days, to be exact. Jonathan still couldn’t believe it. He’s lived without his other half for a whole year now. 

Could he even call it living? It certainly didn’t feel like it. It felt like he was just… existing. He had felt so much pain that now, every emotion was muted. Everything was just a reminder of the love he lost. He loved Ohm like nothing before. Just like Tyler loved Evan like nothing before.

For a while, Jonathan had been getting better. He could almost look at a single picture of Ohm without breaking down. His record was now an hour. 

And then he realized that the anniversary was soon. That was just salt in the wound. 

It felt like Jonathan had his entire life wrenched away just yesterday, instead of a year ago. 

He made plans with Tyler to go visit their graves. They were “buried” together, at a plot near a cemetery that they had all agreed to be placed in. 

Jon and Tyler couldn’t bear to go visit them with the rest of the guys. They’d all be going on their own time. 

Knowing that they had to go visit a grave that had been there for over a year now left a bad taste in Jon’s mouth. It brought more tears to his eyes. 

He cried on Tyler’s shoulder almost every night until the actual anniversary came. Then, he didn’t feel anything. 

At a certain point, when you feel enough pain, you become numb. 

“Tomorrow is when we act. Tomorrow, we fucking kill them.” 

“And then?” 

“And then we go back home.” 

“We’re actually going home? This nightmare is finally coming to an end?” 

“It is. Just one more step, Ohm. One more thing, then we can be free.” 

“What if they hate us?” 

“If they’re feeling anything like we are, then they’ll be happy to see us. I know I’ll be happy to see Tyler.” 

It had been a year and three months. Tyler could feel himself starting to move on, whether he wanted to or not. It was less painful to look at Evan’s and Ohm’s things left in the apartment. It was easier to look at pictures of them and not breakdown. 

It was easier to follow the news for any updates on their former gang. A few of the other guys in it hadn’t left yet; they had vendettas to fill on behalf of other people. Tyler had invited them over to dinner a couple times lately; it was easier to talk to them and not think about the past none of them wanted to relive.

Jonathan found himself moving some of Ohm’s clothes into the back of their shared closet. He didn’t even notice that they were completely out of site until a week later. He didn’t move them.

Tyler and Jonathan had settled in for a night in with shitty movies and microwave popcorn. A new blanket was draped over their laps as they cuddled on the couch. 

At first, Jonathan was hesitant to initiate such close body contact with Tyler, mostly out of fear of being ridiculed for being weak. But when someone sees you sobbing in the middle of the night enough times, you start to not care what the hell they think of you.

So here they were, ready for the shitty movie to begin.

But their night didn’t go as planned.

“I’m nervous, Ev.” 

“Me too. But it’s now or never.” 

“What if they hate us?” 

“Then they at least know that we aren’t actually dead and they can hate us when we’re alive.” 

“You suck at pep talks.”

“I know. Now fucking knock on the door.” 

Tyler paused the movie with a groan, and got up to answer the door. When he swung it open, he took one glance at who was behind it and slammed it shut with his back to the door, facing his friend still on the couch.

Jonathan looked at him with a raised eyebrow, silently asking him what the fuck was wrong.

Tyler took a deep breath, and opened the door again, letting the other man see who was at the door.

Jonathan dropped the popcorn onto the floor, standing silently with his jaw dropped.

“You’re fucking alive,” Jonathan whispered, watching Ohm with glistening eyes.

Evan was looking at Tyler, and apology written clear on his face. “We’re-” 

He was cut off by Tyler punching him in the jaw. Evan stumbled from the force, stars blurring his vision. He rubbed his jaw, but didn’t retaliate. He deserved that.

“What the fuck?” Tyler damn near shrieked, backing away from the door. “What the actual fuck?” 

“We can explain,” Ohm said, raising his hands in surrender. 

“You better,” Tyler growled. “Come in, you’re letting all the warm air out, dickheads.” 

The whole explanation took a few hours. There was some talking, some screaming, some crying, some accusing, and some insults thrown around. A lot of alcohol was drunk, and more than a few smoke breaks were taken.

By the time Evan and Ohm had said all they wanted too, and Jonathan and Tyler had listened and retaliated, it was well past four in the morning. All of them were beyond exhausted, and Jonathan and Tyler both had work in the morning.

“At the coffee shop, right?” Ohm asked, setting down his now empty glass. He didn’t usually drink, but he made tonight an exception.

“If we were to visit, would we get murdered?” Evan looked to Jonathan, trying to read his eyes like he used to be able to. Jonathan always had very expressive eyes, thousands of emotions plainly written in those baby blues.

“Yes,” Tyler answered immediately. “I’m nowhere near forgiving you dickfucks yet.” 

Ohm nodded. “That’s fair.” 

“Do you two have anywhere to stay?” Jonathan asked, placing his hand on Tyler’s arm. “If not, y’all can stay with us. I don’t want you driving anywhere right now.” He looked to the empty whiskey bottles to prove his point. 

Tyler looked as if he wanted to object, but thought better of it. As much as he hated the two men in front of him, he didn’t want them dead for real this time, and especially not from something like drunk driving. They’ve survived countless shootouts, traps, explosions, and Nogla’s cooking - they weren’t going to even take a chance dying from drunk-driving.

“You guys can take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Tyler offered. 

“Absolutely not-” 

“It’s your bed-” 

“You can share my bed,” Jonathan said. “Ev and Ohm, you guys can share Tyler’s bed, right?” 

Both men nodded. 

“Thanks,” Evan said. “For… everything.” 

“Don’t thank us yet,” Tyler muttered.

Later that night, when all four men lay in bed, tired and hazy but not asleep, never able to sleep after what had happened - they were all thinking similar thoughts. 

Sure, they were all variations. Tyler’s thoughts were a bit more angry, a bit more bitter. Jonathan’s were a bit more grateful, a bit more peaceful. Evan’s were more warm, but also laden with guilt. Ohm’s were regretful too, but also calm. 

However, they were all thinking the same thing - everyone was home. Things would get better, because everyone was home. 

Things could go back to normal.

To the way they were supposed to be.

“We’re home,” Evan whispered late into the night. 

“We’re home,” Ohm softly agreed.

“They’re home,” Jonathan murmured, not expecting a reply.

“They’re home,” came Tyler’s echo, bitter and yet… thankful.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please leave a comment or a kudos! They go a long way!


End file.
